All the best stuff is on telly when you’re either at work, asleep or down the pub.  Speaking of said pub have you ever sat there saying ‘have you seen blah this week?’‚ and they say ’no’, ‘well did you see blah,blah ?’‚  and they say ‘no’.  It’s like what do these people do with their lives?  Make time to cook proper food? Spend quality time with their kids?  My advice is use that video. Use that video and get a life.  Festering around watching a backlog of the week’s telly is what mornings off work were made for.
 
Here’s a selection of what’s going on at the moment (U.K terrestrial only until someone around here coughs up for cable). Not bothering with the too obvious Sopranos‚ Simpsons‚..etc.. Feel free to e-mail your current faves, comments, whatever to: talkingtelly@onetel.net.uk
 

MANCHILD. BBC2. TUES. 10pm.
Four men whose M.O. is to dump the wife of 25 years and be single and solvent by 50 so they can use their wealth to hang out in opulent health clubs, ride motorbikes and shag 20 year olds. Let’s hope by episode 6 they each find out they’ve contracted herpes while the stock market crashes around them. A fascinating insight into the male mid-life crisis.

JOHNNY VAUGHAN. TONIGHT. BBC1.11.05 pm. MON.TUES.WED.
This chat show gets slagged off everytime. It’s OK. Why does everyone have such a problem with Johnny Vaughan. It was the same with his sit-com ‘Orrible’‚ which was excellent.

THE FUGITIVE. CH4. SAT. 12 midday.
A remake of the 70‚s series. Dr. Richard Kimble’s on the run after being falsely accused of murdering his wife. He has to dodge a bounty hunter and a copper (who’s haunted by his own tragedy) but still finds time to do good works along the way. Marvellous.

LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRARIE. CH4...only kidding, but I Don’t say no to re-runs of THE WALTONS. MORE COPS AND ROBBERS..... THE JURY. ITV. SUN. 9.30pm.
The murder trial itself takes a backseat as the various and complex lives of the twelve members of the jury is examined. Classy.

LAW AND ORDER. CH5. SAT. 9.55pm.
First the cops reel in the suspected perp(s) then the scene shifts to the court room where the lawyers take over. Slick.

THE VICE. ITV. MON. 9pm.
Dysfunctional police inspector Pat Chappel of the Vice Squad always gets too involved with his job. Crusty.HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING ?.....

FOOTBALLER’S WIVES. ITV. TUES. 9pm.
Inconsequential, Jackie Collinsesque tat. Totally unmissable.

JUNGLE JANES. CH4. TUES. 3.05am.
Camilla Buffton-Tufton, Mrs. Dicky Cholmondley-Featherstonehaw and chums endure the Borneo rain forest for a few weeks of survival training. There are Sherpa’s on hand (at a safe distance) to get them out of any serious bother with man eating spiders and the like, but it’s the loan male in that gaggle of braying middle-aged women I feel sorry for. Priceless.

TWO THOUSAND ACRES OF SKY. BBC1. FRI. 8.30pm.
More fluffy, feel good tat set on a remote Scottish island. With Michelle Collins and Paul Kaye aka Dennis Pennis. Lot’s of hanky moments.

M.T.A (Model Turned Actor). CH4. WED. 11.35pm.
20 models pay £800. for an acting course only to find they’re put through tortuous, unqualified psycho-analysis instead of rolling around on the floor pretending to be a leaf. Fascinatingly ghastly.

IT‚S BACK AT LAST........
CHARMED. CH5. SAT. 6.50pm. Three witches Prue, Phoebe and Piper (who are also sisters) do battle with various demons in San Francisco. Not as inspired as Buffy but still O.K.

ER. CH4. WED. 9pm. What‚s to say?? Quality. And there‚s a double bill in the afternoon (27th Feb. 1.30pm) to set the scene for this new series.

And last but not least the sublime BLACK BOOKS. CH4. FRI. 9.30pm.
Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey need I say more.AND FINALLY.... There‚s an argument raging in the pub about whether the human characters in CRUSADE (CH4. SUN. 4.40am) are computer generated. According to one of the lads they are, as far as I’m concerned they’re not. What can I say ? Most men can’t tell the difference between a woman and a lady-boy so I’m not surprised some can’t tell the difference between humans and computer animated people.

GROVELLING APOLOGY PART 1.....
I wrote last time that the first Hannibal Lecter film was called ŒRed
Dragon‚. WRONG. The book is called "Red Dragon" the film was called
"Manhunter".